Alcoholism affects millions of people every year in the United States. If you’re dealing with an alcoholic loved one, it can seem incredibly hopeless and difficult. Figuring out how to help them, and how to help yourself, in such a situation can be heartbreaking. Here are a few of our tips for navigating this heart-wrenching situation.
Dealing with an Alcoholic Loved One
Is the Person an Alcoholic?
Diagnosing a drinking problem can be difficult. Some people drink heavily with friends around but might not be alcoholics. Other people hide their drinking well but are actually in the grips of alcohol abuse. People who are consistently thinking about drinking, getting alcohol, or recovering from hangovers might be alcoholics.
Other warning signs include people shirking responsibilities to drink, drinking against the wishes of loved ones, and drinking even though it’s impeding physical and psychological health. Some of the most telling symptoms of alcoholism include withdrawal symptoms when not drinking and a very high tolerance for alcohol.
How to Talk to an Alcoholic
What do you say to someone who is abusing alcohol? Express concern for them. Tell them you care about them, and that you’re worried about what drinking is doing to them. Make the person aware that you’re not attacking them, but that you’re concerned for their health.
Offer to help them cut back on their drinking. Tell the person that you could even give them a hand finding professional help, if they think they need it. Keep your tone non-confrontational. You’re not accusing them, or trying to tear them down. You’re trying to help.
What Not to Do
Don’t make excuses for the person if they’re missing their responsibilities. Don’t cover their responsibilities for them, and don’t try to help hide their drinking. You also need to make sure you never drink with someone who has a drinking problem. If you perform any of these behaviors, you’re enabling the person.
When to Walk Away
If a person continues to self-destruct with alcohol despite your best attempts to help them, don’t beat yourself up. There’s nothing you can do if someone doesn’t want your help. If the person is causing harm to themselves or others, contact the authorities.
Otherwise, if they simply won’t work with you, it’s better that you walk away than watch them circle the drain. You need to live your life for yourself, not for the people around you. Wish them the best, tell them to reach out if they want help. And then, you need to live your own life.